71. Laura Husband with an intimate story of the Columbia space shuttle

In a profoundly moving episode of the podcast "Ordinary People Extraordinary Things," we meet Laura Husband, whose life was irreversibly changed by the Columbia space shuttle disaster. Laura's narrative provides a candid and intimate examination of grief and the resilience that often goes unseen but is incredibly powerful. Her reflections on navigating this journey reveal a strong, unshakeable faith. 🧑‍🚀 

As Laura recounts the tragic loss of her father, a NASA astronaut, when she was just 12 years old, listeners are drawn into the personal impact of a national heartbreak. This story transcends the public's shared sorrow, delving into the intimate struggles and the strength Laura harnessed through her faith. It challenges the listener to consider the deeper questions about existence that often trail in the wake of tragedy.🧑‍🚀 

This episode goes beyond mere storytelling, providing an open discussion about the complex emotions of grief and the unanticipated intimacy with God that emerged. She shares the ways in which her father's legacy continues to shape lives and bring about unexpected connections and joy amidst the grief. 🧑‍🚀 

The conversation then delves into the haunting "why" that accompanies tragedy and how faith can provide comfort in the absence of clear answers. It explores the Christian narrative of Jesus' sacrifice and how it offers a form of bewildering grace that parallels our own experiences of loss. 🧑‍🚀 

In conclusion, the episode underscores the multiplying effect of gratitude and how it creates a positive feedback loop that enhances our lives. It's a powerful reminder that thankfulness can indeed touch every corner of our lives with light. For anyone navigating their own storms, this episode offers a celebration of resilience and the enduring strength found in faith and gratitude.🧑‍🚀

Watch the entire interview on YouTube 🎥 https://youtu.be/EhW61B0MU_4

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Season five begins today. Thank you for your continued support and sharing the podcast. Season five is going to have some spectacular guests. I can't wait to get started with you. Well, welcome to Ordinary People, Extraordinary Things. I'm here with Laura. Laura, thanks for being on.

Speaker 2: 0:21

Thank you, it's nice to be here.

Speaker 1: 0:24

I'm so excited that you said you'd be on. We have a mutual friend, Bridget, and she got us connected.

Speaker 2: 0:31

Yes, she's great, love her and she just had her book come out and I'm super proud of her.

Speaker 1: 0:38

So, yes, I've read it, it's really good. Yes, so if people don't know who you are, can you give three words or phrases that describe you?

Speaker 2: 0:48

yeah, that's it's. That was an interesting thing to think about. Um, I, for me, I would say beauty, collaboration and impact are three words that describe me, beauty being all arts, different things like that, just capturing and cherishing kind of moments of beauty. And then collaboration working with other people, team building, those kind of I love working with others. And so collaboration in all different ways. And then impact for anything that I do. I hope that it would make a difference for the kingdom of God, so I hope that it has some eternal impact beyond what I'm doing in the present moment.

Speaker 1: 1:36

Oh, that's beautiful. So when you were just saying that, you said teamwork and I feel like something that just in general in our society right now is that people are kind of going inward. They're not wanting to be around people Like they say things like the world would be great if it wasn't for people or you know kind of things that are kind of funny. But then on the other hand you're like but you're serious.

Speaker 1: 2:01

Yeah, so what, what? Like, I just find it so interesting that you would say that could you kind of maybe elaborate for that yeah, and I would.

Speaker 2: 2:09

I would say it. It definitely would be intentional relationship building. It's not just being with other people, but being intentional with other people working together. We can't do things alone, and I think often we consider ourselves especially in America independent individuals. Even the way our households run, we don't often live with well, it depends but we don't often live with family after we're done with college. If you go to college, different things where. So the community culture is kind of different here, but we were built to be dependent beings on God. Even in the garden, before sin happened, adam and Eve were dependent on God and they walked with him, and so I think sometimes we think of dependency as weakness, but it's actually not a failure or a weakness. It's in our DNA of how we were meant to be dependent on God and dependent on one another not in unhealthy ways, of course there's. We can only really get what we deep down need from God, but having that dependency on each other, we can build something really cool together, wow.

Speaker 1: 3:24

That was so beautiful, thank you. Thank you for that, I think, maybe for me, maybe I just needed that today.

Speaker 2: 3:33

I'm glad.

Speaker 1: 3:34

So, laura, you lost your father very publicly when you were 12. Is that correct? Yes, 12 years old, wow, can you, for someone who's like I, have no idea what you're talking about. Could you give us some context?

Speaker 2: 3:50

Totally so. To backtrack a little bit, my dad was an astronaut, so we moved to Texas when I was four years old and he started his journey at NASA and flew one mission and then on his second mission, the space shuttle Columbia. Unfortunately it crashed upon re-entry attempting to land and so I lost my dad at 12 years old on the space shuttle Columbia. He was the commander and that was definitely one of those moments in your life where everything kind of pauses and stands still and it just sticks out obviously for the rest of your life.

Speaker 1: 4:33

Yeah, and that was. That was 20 years ago, just a few months ago, right February 1st 21 years.

Speaker 2: 4:42

It was 2003. So 21 years ago, oh gosh 2023.

Speaker 1: 4:50

But.

Speaker 2: 4:50

I know years ago.

Speaker 1: 4:52

Yes, yeah.

Speaker 2: 4:54

So it's hard to believe.

Speaker 1: 4:55

Yeah, yeah, I bet I can't imagine. So what, what's it like to a lose your dad when you're 12, but then I'm sure, kind of publicly, it makes it a little bit different too.

Speaker 2: 5:10

Yeah, I had an amazing dad, and so I know everybody has a different relationship with their dad, and that's something, as I've gotten older, I've really reflected on as well is I had a very involved dad in my life. He, yes, was an astronaut, but that wasn't the biggest thing that he highlighted at home with us. He was invested as a dad. He'd come home and make time to spend with us. I went on daddy-daughter dates, told me I was beautiful every day, was very involved in every aspect of my growing up and was a very loving father, shared about God, and so having that loss was pretty devastating. It was, I mean, it's the hardest thing I've ever been through and it's interesting at 12, I felt so much older. It grew me up so quick. Now I look at 12 year olds and I have so much compassion for my younger self and even like it's heartbreaking to think about 12 year old me, because at that point I felt so grown up. Your thoughts are really developed already in a lot of ways at that age, and so I kind of felt like OK, how am I going to help my mom? I have a younger brother who was seven at the time and all these questions flooded my head big and small. Who's gonna help me with math? Who's gonna walk me down the aisle one day if I get married? Who's are we gonna have to get jobs? Are we gonna have to move, like, how is life going to change because of this? And not even that was just like the initial questions. Not how am life going to change because of this? And not even that was just like the initial questions. Not how am I going to live without my dad? To that obviously came later, as as I grieved, and it's. It's interesting because people will say so many different things to you, some helpful, some not. But I'm so thankful God did some preparation in my life before I was 12.

Speaker 2: 7:28

That year before I, I was in sixth grade the year before and I was frustrated because I felt like the Bible didn't speak to me, and so I just started reading my Bible a lot, which is kind of abnormal for a sixth grader to just say, okay, oh, I'm going to read my Bible a lot because it doesn't speak to me and I'm annoyed by that, and so I'm going to read it more. And that was really God's provision, because when that moment hit, I remember being back. We heard the news at NASA crew quarters. We had been on the landing strip where they were supposed to land and we were going to greet them and and see them again in Florida. And they take us back to NASA crew quarters and give us the news and I remember turning to my aunt and saying I know God's going to take care of us.

Speaker 2: 8:20

I don't know how, I know he will. And those verses that I'd been reading the year before, that he's a man of sorrows, acquainted with our grief, that he heals the brokenhearted, he turns our mourning into dancing, and that we can trust in him and he will keep our paths straight. All these verses started coming to life that at the time wasn't sure what they meant to me, but I was speaking God and you know that year before and and clearly he was planting truth in me so that when I needed it it would be available to me to comfort me in ways that I really didn't understand. But I'm so thankful that he did that for me in that way.

Speaker 1: 9:10

That's, that's beautiful. You know, even like this last weekend I was chatting with someone and they they said you know, I feel far away from God and and I think what you did was so lovely, like, like, instead of just saying I feel far away, I'm just giving up, or he doesn't exist, or you know a myriad of things. You said, well, let me press in Right, like, what a good thing to learn from.

Speaker 2: 9:38

Yeah, even me, because I feel like it was God's grace that pushed me in. I I really don't know if I can take credit, because I just don't think it was a natural inclination for me. So I'm just thankful I had that relationship with God already and so he nudged me into that, and so I get. When God nudges you, I guess just trust the nudges, because it it really is. He's doing more than we know and I love that his grace works that way. I was a sixth grader who didn't know anything that was about to happen in my life, but God did, and he stepped in and was a good father to me in that way too.

Speaker 1: 10:21

So you were, you weren't worried, or maybe you were. I'm sorry, I just made that up for you. You said you were like there for the landing though, so you weren't expecting anything to go wrong. I kind of assume or is there always a worry, or how you know?

Speaker 2: 10:39

I knew, my dad being an astronaut, that it's a risk to fly, obviously, the space. But I had always been more nervous about launch day because of challenger. That happened in 86 and so I knew about that and my dad and mom and you know our family would have discussions about there is risk, but we didn't fixate on that and we trusted God. You know that he's in control of our lives and so we're not fixating on what might happen and truly landing had never been a concern before, so every other mission had gone well when they had their landing. So no, I wasn't really worried at all, maybe a little nervous like and excited.

Speaker 2: 11:30

And I remember standing there and there was a countdown clock counting down the minutes until they were to be back and at a minute out we should have heard the sonic boom where they break the sound barrier and that's kind of an indicator they're on track and coming in and so it hits a minute. We don't hear the sonic boom. And I remember my mom started asking our astronaut friend who was assigned to us to like help us understand any technical things. I go to her and she's talking to him and I said mom, is daddy okay? And she said no, I don't think so. And that's the moment when my stomach dropped and just, it was the first time in my life that a and this was a thing that was out of my mom's control, out of everyone's control, and it was just unexpected, completely really. Yeah, we were not expecting anything to go wrong.

Speaker 1: 12:39

Yeah, so it sounds like you went from kind of an excitement and like a clock going down and I can't really imagine, like the you know the excitement, the building and you know, oh, my dad's almost home, and then to have that a complete switch right like very drastic, not only an emotion but time it sounds like.

Speaker 2: 13:01

Yes, the clock counted down to zero and then started counting up positive numbers of when they should have been back. So it's just this weird feeling of they're not there on the runway and the numbers are counting up and they're supposed to be here now, and as a 12 year old I think I might have thought even oh, maybe they're late. I wasn't really thinking about the technical side, I wasn't paying attention and so, yeah, it was rough. I remember them pushing us to the cars saying get the crew families out of here, and there were press already starting to try to film us. Us, and I don't know if it registered at the time, but it be. It became a very public loss for all of us to experience as families yeah, and then the country's kind of grieving as well.

Speaker 1: 14:04

So how does that affect you when, like, like you're grieving very personally but there's other people grieving and maybe also trying to? I'm sure questions got asked right away, right Like what happened? Why did this happen? How can we stop this from happening again?

Speaker 2: 14:21

Right, and again, all at 12 years old, which in my mind, I felt older, and so it's been interesting reflecting back now on different things. I'm so thankful for my mom. She was a huge shield for me from a lot of things and an amazing role model through all of the public ceremonies and things that we did, and I'm still very close to her. She's my best friend. But I just, yeah, we didn't turn on the TV for at least a month or more, because they would replay the crash on TV on different and have it be a new spot and there'd be new updates and things. And most of America knew there was something wrong before we did, because it it happened over East Texas, and so some people already knew something was wrong before we even did. And then, yeah, there's just a myriad of things that come with a public loss. They were pioneers to space and so Americans, and well, it was an international crew. We had the first Israeli astronaut on board as well and the first Indian woman astronaut, so it was a very international crew there were and they worked so well together.

Speaker 2: 15:53

But the world's eyes were on that moment and, if it taught me anything, we're all human beings, no matter how visible we are to public eye. We all deal with things differently, we all grieve differently. We all have emotions and feel things and are real human beings, whether or not we're more visible to public eye or not. But it it was hard sometimes. I didn't want to be openly emotional at ceremonies and then have press film me crying. You know, I I really wanted that to be private, where I could privately grieve, and for the most part I think I was able to have that and but it it was hard at times and then also feeling like I wanted to share my dad's story. So it's just this bittersweet dance of appreciation for all the prayers. There's so many people who I've met now who said they were praying for us then and I know God used those prayers and has used those prayers in our, our life and that's cool to see. That's cool to see people who were inspired by my dad's story or inspired by the crew or or something like that. That's been really neat to see and feel connected in that way.

Speaker 2: 17:19

And then there's the other side. That's hard when you just want privacy and you want to grieve and you people say you're strong to a 12 year old and that's the last thing I needed to hear, because already I I'm I'm lean towards the perfectionist achiever side, as the first, the first child, I guess maybe if you could say, and so I wanted to hold it together for my mom and for my brother, and thank God for counseling. I've unpacked a lot of that, but it's. It definitely was an interesting landscape where adults would come up to me and express their grief and sometimes I felt that I had to comfort them for my dad's loss, which feels so backward. But that is how it goes sometimes with grief, whether it's public or not. People come up to you with their emotion and you almost feel like you need to comfort them, or it's a weird paradox sometimes.

Speaker 1: 18:25

Yeah, Did you feel like you were defined by this or you are defined by it?

Speaker 2: 18:35

Thankfully, because I know Jesus. I know I'm not defined by this. In another way I'm proud of what my dad did and it's very much a part of me, it's part of what shaped who I am, and God knew my story and has orchestrated my story and is the author of it. But I went through a time where I was a little more quiet about this part of my story because I didn't want that to be the first thing that people knew about me. I didn't want pity or I didn't want people just to want to know me because my dad was an astronaut and they thought that was cool.

Speaker 2: 19:17

There was a lot more. There is a lot more to me than that and for a while I went a little quiet with it. And then, through healing and counseling and growth and reflecting, I feel much more excited to share about that because I've seen the ways that God has worked through the grief and joy. I've had joy in the midst of my grief too. It's it's. I wouldn't trade my story. I know it's been given to me. I didn't ask for it, but I'm thankful for what he's done through it and there's. I don't feel defined by it, but it's very much part of part of what I am today.

Speaker 1: 20:06

So I'm going to ask this question of did you ask why? Maybe to NASA or something, but even to God, and I think that's what my, my bigger question is is because, specifically, you have a why, but I think in general, when any of us are grieving or going through something, it's easy or we want to find an answer from God, right, like, why is this happening? God and you know this sort of thing, and I think sometimes he gives us that and sometimes he doesn't, which has right. So I guess that's kind of my, my reasoning for the question of of did you ask why, either to God or to you know, people higher up, and did you get an answer? Does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 20:54

Yes, that's, I think. I feel that question so deeply. I think that's at the core of all of us. The question why Right?

Speaker 1: 21:07

exactly.

Speaker 2: 21:08

I think we all desperately want to know why certain things have happened. And if it could have just gone different, why could it have gone a different way? Have just gone different? Like, why couldn't it have gone a different way? And, yes, nasa did admit fault, so I, in that sense. They did do the accident report and they found out what was wrong and, and you know, ways that the NASA culture needed to improve and that aspect, but it wasn't going to bring my dad back. So it's still like, why then? Why that crew? Why my dad? And it's making me think of another question right now. Think of another question right now.

Speaker 2: 22:05

It's if I, the closer I get to know Jesus, we can also ask the question why did he die for us? It's just kind of it's. There are things about the gospel that are bewildering, just like our life. It doesn't make sense why, why would God send his son to die for us when we didn't deserve a second chance, we didn't deserve that closeness with him, and yet he did it anyways out of love for us? And so it's just making me think of that question, which makes me so thankful and gives me the hope for the wise that I don't know, such as why? Why would this happen right now?

Speaker 2: 22:44

But I have to trust that God knows more than I do and I don't think God's heart or the core of who he is intends for us to endure deep pain. It's not how the world was meant to go. But he can use those moments to to bring more people to him and beauty from ashes, redemptive things from it, and I feel like in in different ways. I've heard people's stories of hearing that they heard about my dad and what a great dad he was and husband and and now they want to be a better dad and husband and follow God. And those little moments help fill in the why question for me. Obviously, I'd rather if I could give my dad a hug and see him. I would love that. But I also am so thankful I know I will see him again and I just have to trust that this was the way God planned it to go. It's not out of God's control, even if it feels out of control to me that's really you know.

Speaker 1: 24:03

you were saying how. You said like why would Jesus come, you know, and and give himself on the cross for us and come back to life? And I was just thinking I've been reading in Deuteronomy and before they're going to go into the promised land, and Moses is kind of going over again, like these are the commands you know, follow the commands. And like you will be blessed or you will be cursed. And then, before Moses dies, god says they're not going to do it, they're going to, they're going to go to idols, they're going to do this. And and that's the exact same thing. It's like he, he told him that I love you, I want you to keep my commands, and I know you're not going to, you know. And so that kind of made me like the why of, like wow, what a, what a loving God that he would know our hearts and know that we're going to make mistakes and that we're going to fall away over and over. And he still says, okay, I'll send my son for you.

Speaker 2: 25:05

Yeah it, it's bewildering grace really it's. It's doesn't make sense and in a way that helps make sense of those things that don't make sense that don't make sense, right?

Speaker 1: 25:24

oh, that's so beautiful. Yeah, I love that. I love that. Well, you kind of said a few times like that you're excited to share your the story, or kind of excited to share about your dad. Is there anything that you you're like I do want to share this or I do want to say this?

Speaker 2: 25:39

Yeah, I think, as I've walked grief for with my dad and many others for 21 years, there is beauty in it, there's a lot of unseen in it, that just to encourage those who are walking through grief, those who are walking through grief that just I mean, and that you've probably heard it maybe, but the name of God, the God who sees, he does see us in those dark moments, and sometimes those moments end up being really amazing, new moments of intimacy with God and ways that you didn't maybe understand.

Speaker 2: 26:26

A characteristic of God, and now, because you need him in that way, you're asking him to be something to you that you didn't ask him to be to you before, such for me like a father to the fatherless and being a provider in different ways, being my joy in the pain. There's things that we start asking God to be, that he has always been, but we weren't looking or asking for, and so I think there's something very rich and deep in that that you find, even in the midst of those behind closed doors crying, no one sees and it's place. There are beautiful things happening and things that are being built and made, and, and I love also, a counselor of mine told me that grief. Grief is progressive, it as we process. It's not that we're stuck, like if we cry again or if we have something trigger emotion again.

Speaker 2: 27:48

It's not that we're stuck forever on it, it's it's a new, progressive processing of of God healing us, and I think that really encouraged me that I didn't have to fail. I wasn't failing at grieving if I had a new aspect of or new layer that I needed to process, and I still do. There's different things that I process in my grief now, 21 years later, you know so it changes as you go. It's not a linear thing.

Speaker 1: 28:22

That's good. Well, I appreciate you sharing some of your story. I mean, we're just getting a glimpse of of who you are and um for sharing. But I always love to wrap up with a few questions. So if I could ask those, sure, what is your favorite Bible verse or story?

Speaker 2: 28:45

Proverbs 3, 5, and 6 has been an ongoing verse for my family and I. My dad wrote it on his lithographs, his astronaut pictures and it's trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding and all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your path straight. And, man, no matter what phase of life you're going through, it just rings true. It's trusting in him and not in our own understanding, and it's it's a daily thing to remember and it always helps me redirect and figure out where my aim should be. And that's back to God, not trying to figure it out myself or make sense even of those whys that we were talking about, but trust that he has the understanding I don't and he will make it good, he will make it straight that's good.

Speaker 1: 29:43

That's actually probably if I had to pick like a verse that's spoken to me throughout my entire life, I feel like that might have been like one of the first ones that I really like latched on to and then it's never let go of.

Speaker 2: 29:57

Right, it's so good. Yeah, every stage of life. I love that about scripture that it speaks to you no matter what season you're in it, something new pops up from it because it's living and active.

Speaker 1: 30:08

Yeah, what are you grateful for?

Speaker 2: 30:14

So many things. It's, yeah, the more grateful you are, the more things you think of. Think is how that works, which is pretty amazing. It's contagious. So I'm grateful that God has given me hope every single day when I lack grace, to have discipline in different areas of my life. That's something I've been learning in the past year just discipline. I'm thankful for opportunities to connect with others and share our stories and that God uses story to give others hope and that it's not lost when we, when we lose like our story still has value in it. It can connect and give others hope. Yeah, and I'm thankful for my family. I'm we're very, very close to this day and God really expanded it to my mom remarried when, five years later, to a widower, my stepdad Bill, and so I'm thankful that God expanded our family in some ways, in some beautiful ways.

Speaker 1: 31:34

I love that and I love how you said about stories, because that's why I'm doing what we're doing and that's why I'm so grateful that you and so many have come on to share your stories, so that you can inspire and encourage others and and just also bring the kingdom of God a little bit further and further, just by sharing how God's been working in our lives.

Speaker 2: 31:56

Yes, yeah, I love your title. It's the fact that we're ordinary people and God's doing extraordinary things through us and it's we don't even really know how he works in those things. We can trust that he is doing bigger things than than we have the tools for.

Speaker 1: 32:14

Yeah, and what kindness have you shown, or what kindness have you seen in the last week?

Speaker 2: 32:23

or what kindness have you seen in the last week? I recently got acquainted with a film studio in Houston called For the One, and they have been generously hosting some different events. I'm a film and stage actor, but they've been fostering community and using their what, their resources, to basically foster community in Houston in a way that I've never seen and I've benefited from that this past week and just seeing the beautiful ways that if you open a door with your resources, it's just cool what God does with that. So I've I've I've benefited from the kindness of someone opening their door and and using their resources for good oh, I love that.

Speaker 2: 33:09

That's so good well, yeah, it's, it's. It's fun to to see how people are working in your city together too.

Speaker 1: 33:19

It's an exciting thing yeah, yeah, and that's why I kind of end with these things is because I think we need a little bit more gratefulness and a little bit more kindness in the world. And what better way to do it and to keep remembering it? Right, like just what you said the more I, the more I think I'm grateful. The more I remember gratefulness, the more I am grateful. So I just don't know if we could have enough of that.

Speaker 2: 33:43

Yeah, it's a great multiplier that doesn't have any negative effects by having more of it.

Speaker 1: 33:50

Yeah Well, Laura, I love getting to know you a little bit more. Thank you for being on.

Speaker 2: 33:57

Oh, it's been a joy. Thank you so much for letting me be here, share my story and get to know you more as well, thank you.

Speaker 1: 34:07

Thank you for listening to Ordinary People, extraordinary Things, where your story is His glory. We will be back in two weeks with a brand new podcast. In the meantime, check out all of the other seasons, seasons one through four, for all of the stories of faith and hope.