76. "An amazing story of God's Faithfulness, Goodness, & Care" with Amber Hayes

“When the world gives you no hope whatsoever in a situation you have 2 options: you can completely turn away from God. Or you can say, The world gives me no hope, so I’m going to hang on to the one thing that will.”  ~Amber Hayes

Navigating parenthood is often compared to embarking on an epic journey, filled with unexpected twists and turns. In our latest podcast episode, we delve into a family's extraordinary journey of love, resilience, and faith. Amber opens up about the challenges and triumphs of parenting, particularly in the face of a rare medical condition diagnosed in their son, Nolan.

One of the pivotal moments in the episode is Amber’s recounting of their journey to parenthood through IVF. The initial joy of becoming parents is soon overshadowed by the discovery of Nolan's condition, Ataxia Telangiectasiam, a rare and progressive neurological disorder. The uncertainty and anxiety that come with such a diagnosis are palpable, as the family navigates through a series of medical tests and consultations. 

Faith plays a central role in this family's story. Amber discusses how their belief in God's promises provided a source of strength and peace amidst the chaos. Nolan's progress, from walking and playing sports to participating in American Ninja Warrior gym classes, is celebrated as a testament to God's faithfulness. The episode underscores that faith is not just a passive hope but an active, sustaining force that helps them face each day with courage and optimism.

Another profound theme explored in the episode is the concept of finding faith in uncertainty. Amber reflects on the difficulty of waiting for answers and the struggle of trusting in God's plan without knowing the future. This period of waiting has deepened their connection with Jesus and led to a greater reliance on God's word. They emphasize the importance of living in the moment and recognizing everyday miracles, no matter how small. This mindset shift, from seeking grand miracles to appreciating incremental progress, is a powerful lesson for anyone facing similar trials.

Throughout the episode, Amber’s story is a poignant reminder that while we may not have control over life's trials, we can choose how we respond to them. By focusing on faith, resilience, and the support of our community, we can navigate even the most daunting challenges with grace and strength. 

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Transcript

Nancy Bruscher: 0:01

Welcome to Ordinary People, extraordinary Things. I'm so glad you're here. You are in for a treat. We have a wonderful guest and we're going to hear all about faith and hope. If you find this episode helpful, please share it with a friend. Welcome to Ordinary People, extraordinary Things. I'm here with Amber. Amber, thanks for being on. Yes, thank you for having me, and our families have just gotten really close the last year and it's been so fun to have our kids play and have fun and then just be able to chat as moms. Yes, so you're a homeschool mom. You have four kids. Is there any other words to describe you?

Amber Hayes: 0:45

Yes, I mean I am a homeschool mom. I have four kids, two boys and two girls, and their ages are eight, seven, four and two. So life is super busy, so maybe a word to describe me would just be very busy. And in mom life, full time. I'm a follower of Jesus is the first thing, I think, describes me and gives me direction in every single part of my life, or should. And so, yes, I love being creative, so being a homeschool mom has been really good for me. It's been a chance to I like to teach, so it's been a chance to teach and get creative but also just spend a ton of time with my kids. I can be a homebody, so I guess that describes me, which homeschooling works really well for that too, yeah, yeah, oh awesome.

Nancy Bruscher: 1:37

Thank you for that. I know that that's hard to come up with words on all of those. So your oldest is eight.

Amber Hayes: 1:46

He is eight. He'll be nine in a couple months.

Nancy Bruscher: 1:49

Okay, so yes, and what was it, what does it feel like to first become a mom? Can you kind of take yourself back like almost nine years and like, yes, how did that, how, how did you feel?

Amber Hayes: 2:01

Uh yes, becoming a mom best thing ever, goodness, it filled me with joy. I think. As any mom you know, you're like that moment where you first have that baby in your arms and just the amount of love and the amount of joy was overwhelming. Jim and I, years before getting pregnant with Nolan, I had been told really young that it was going to be difficult for us to have children on our own, and so after several years we finally decided to try IVF. And that was its own journey, but God gave us peace in it.

Amber Hayes: 2:33

You know, there were times where we were really nervous and I was afraid, but God, he worked through that and we got pregnant with Nolan and that was just amazing, like such goodness and faithfulness that the Lord gave to us and I was finally a mom and it was something I didn't in my head. I thought I don't think I'll ever get to do this and so, because people had told you that kind of and then you know, just years of not being able to have a baby, you know, and friends and family going on before you having kids and God took care of my heart during that time a huge sense of peace. Jim and I got to do a lot of different things while we didn't have any kids and we were married 10 years before we had Nolan.

Nancy Bruscher: 3:19

Wow, yes.

Amber Hayes: 3:21

But I loved it. I couldn't believe I got to take him home. I couldn't believe that he was ours and I just am so thankful to the Lord that I'm thankful for IVF and that we're able to do that.

Nancy Bruscher: 3:34

And then when did you notice that for a better word, something was wrong, something was a little different with Nolan's health?

Amber Hayes: 3:43

Nolan. So he walked at 15 months, which is pretty normal. But after starting to walk we started noticing that his balance just wasn't getting better over time as he got closer to age two. So we talked to the pediatrician about it and, you know, no one was alarmed Jim and I weren't even alarmed, it just was more of a yeah, he may need some physical therapy. A lot of kids, you know, have a hard time getting their footing, and so we got a physical therapist to come to the house and within 10 minutes of her being there, she was like I'm sorry, but what Nolan has and what's going on with him is beyond me and you need to take further steps. I think he has something seriously wrong.

Nancy Bruscher: 4:33

Wow, I mean, I can't imagine just that. And it was it was shocking.

Amber Hayes: 4:37

You know, that day I was so excited to have her come and I was like we're finally going to get him some help that he needs. This will be some quick exercises and things we can do at home and it went from very, very hopeful to just uncertain and devastating. Right away, I mean, I felt frantic that day.

Nancy Bruscher: 4:58

Well, and kind of odd that the doctors would be like, oh, it's okay, and then 10 minutes in with a physical therapist you get like a 180.

Amber Hayes: 5:07

Yes, and it is learning. You know that doctors are really, really smart and we love them, you know, for our kids. But not everyone is an expert in everything, and so God's like faithfulness in who the physical therapist was that we got was amazing. Just, we went through different people and phone calls and we're like this is the lady I think that God has for us and it was the one that knew right away something was wrong. And so, just, she is very specialized, she is very kind and loving and I am so thankful for her, even still to this day. But yeah, not all doctors know all the tiny details you have to go day. But yeah, not all doctors know, all the tiny details.

Amber Hayes: 5:48

You have to go, you know to someone more specialized.

Nancy Bruscher: 5:50

Yeah, yeah. So what was your next step then?

Amber Hayes: 5:53

Our next step was to go see a neurologist at Children's Hospital. That was her recommendation.

Nancy Bruscher: 5:58

Oh wow, right, Wow, straight to Children's.

Amber Hayes: 6:01

Hospital yes.

Nancy Bruscher: 6:02

And the neurologist.

Amber Hayes: 6:04

Yes, and so we went and saw the neurologist there and she recommended different testing. You know, get an MRI, let's check the brain Blood work, let's check what's going on with that. And right away she also was like we may need to do some genetic testing. Oh, okay, and for Jim and I this is all really new. You know, we're like we know what MRIs are, we know what genetic testing is, you know, but what is this that we are? What is? What is this? You know, what is it that he has? What could it be? Just all the uncertainty and then just jumping right into this was it was very overwhelming. It was very, very scary. It was really hard to watch Nolan have to put on hospital counts and go through MRIs and get blood work drawn, and it was just really difficult. I mean, he was just a little two-year-old, you know, at the time. Yeah, and genetic testing is tricky. It is really hard to get approved by insurance, really.

Amber Hayes: 6:59

And then once it is, then it takes a really long time. Oh, and so we were. We were, we didn't know, but we were months away from having a diagnosis and so during this time we went through all the different testing. You know, no, his brain looks okay. His blood work is like this, you know, um, going through and going from moments where I felt really hopeful like that came out okay, so maybe he's okay from moments where I felt really hopeful like that came out okay, so maybe he's okay to moments where it was like here's the list of things he could have that are very, very bad, and I just felt completely out of control of my thoughts and emotions and anxiety. Yeah, going from maybe it's fine to it's probably not. You know it was really difficult, it's probably not. You know it was really difficult.

Amber Hayes: 7:50

Yeah, then that waiting, yes, it was really hard. I felt really frantic over everything. I felt like I was running around from different doctor and nutritionists trying to just figure out that no one is okay, you know, all the while praying and trying to trust God, but also just being like let's figure this out, let's get this, you know, let's go to this person, let's change the way he's eating, let's go to the park and swing and swing, and swing and things physical therapists were telling us to do we were doing just trying to help him and it was overwhelming and it was chaotic.

Nancy Bruscher: 8:23

And at this point you had another son. Yes, All of a sudden I was like oh, eight, seven, he's two. So you have.

Amber Hayes: 8:31

Yes, and so Cody was around six months old and he just became a baby that went with us to all of these things. He was such a good baby and I really started worrying over him too when the doctor said this could be genetic. Right, it could be this big thing. We think that it is. There is a chance that Cody could have it too, and you wouldn't know that unless you ran his genetic, his blood work and got genetic testing done or you saw his body doing those things. And so I would watch my six month old sit like a normal six month old.

Amber Hayes: 9:07

They tip a little, they're wobbly, and I would just be full of dread you know of like, okay, I'm going to have two sons that have this awful disorder, and Cody is fine, so he does not have it, and his body was just. It was just a six-month-old tipping over when he's learning to, you know sit, and he crawled late and he walked late, but it was all really normal for him. Yeah, so, praise the Lord, we are very, very thankful.

Nancy Bruscher: 9:35

Wow, I hear some things that I can already feel people being able to relate to you with is worry or, you know, just like this dread, like how did God get you through this? Or how did you get through even this first portion of it?

Amber Hayes: 9:53

I, you know, we had a lot of people in our life that were praying and that helped me a bunch. Yeah, and then just really reading God's word, you know when you, um, are given like no hope, in a situation. You know, we were told Nolan's diagnosis is is hopeless, there is no cure, his body is going to progress and deteriorate and these things are going to happen to him. You feel zero hope, you know. And so just really reading God's word, it felt new for the first time. I've been a believer my whole life but reading it I was just like I actually need this and I can use this verse and these words and to hang on to what God says and I mean there were days I did a terrible job hanging on to what he said and would just lose it you know, but it was just a matter of just teaching myself to keep my eyes on Jesus, and I had many people tell me to do that.

Amber Hayes: 10:54

I felt like God was really just pressing in on my heart. Keep your eyes on me. Keep your eyes on me Because the things that you're seeing are scary. There is no hope in those, but there is hope in me and what I'm going to do and how I'm going to work and how I will be faithful. That was everything. That was really everything that's so good.

Nancy Bruscher: 11:14

so what was his? You said you were kind of in a two-month waiting span of like, yes, we don't know, we'll throw some scary things at you of what it might be, but what was his official first? Or was it this?

Amber Hayes: 11:29

Yeah, yes, okay. So the genetic testing. When it came back Nolan was diagnosed with it's called ataxia telangiectasia really big, long word. It is a genetic disorder, it is rare and it is progress. It's a progressive neurological disorder and it controls the motor movement of the body. Wow, all those words sound hopeless right, they are really hopeless.

Nancy Bruscher: 11:52

Progressive neurological yes.

Amber Hayes: 11:55

It was basically like, over time, you were going to see your son's body lose the ability to walk, possibly to speak, to function and do the things that you always dream that your kids are going to get to do when you become a mom, and there just isn't a cure for it right now and they're working on it, you know, but there isn't one and so we couldn't even put our hope in that of like hey, maybe they're close to a cure, this is going to be okay.

Amber Hayes: 12:22

It was like no, you know, jim and I sat in that small doctor's room that day and I remember the doctor telling us the results of the genetic testing and I almost couldn't hear her words, like I actually had to ask her to say it again. I was like, just give me a minute, I need you to say it again because I didn't hear you, because fear had just taken over. My stomach was sick and I just could hardly listen. My brain was having a hard time processing what I had heard. And so, you know, the days and weeks and even months following, I just felt full of terror. I felt desperate for God to heal him, like I would beg God day in and day out. I'd be up in the night just begging him to heal Nolan and I wanted him to heal it right away, you know, before anything would progress.

Amber Hayes: 13:10

And so you know I would look at Nolan during the day with so much love and joy and watch him do things that a cute two-year-old does, you know, and just feel your mom heart overflowing but at the same time in the back of my mind feeling full of fear of, well, he's hitting a baseball off a tee right now, but he won't get to do that. Or you know, he is scooting around on this little tractor in our house, but he'll never ride a bike, you know. And really dwelling on the words that doctor said, I remember laying in bed one night asking God. I was like I can't do this anymore. I'm at point a, the most fear and terror I have ever felt in my life to I need you to get me to point b, which is your peace that surpasses all understanding. And God did that, but it wasn. It's not easy, yeah that's.

Nancy Bruscher: 14:08

that's so good. So he did that. Could you tell me how old he is now? Yeah, how he's defined? Kind of give us Nolan now, because I know Nolan now but, just you know our listeners who are like okay, we just heard he was two and he had this hopeless diagnosis, and now he's eight, almost nine, yes, yes, I mean Nolan.

Amber Hayes: 14:32

yes, he's going to turn nine in two months and sometimes I can't believe it. You know, I used to dread his birthdays because I was like, if this is progressive, every birthday is going to be really terrible Because I'm going to see him get worse. And Nolan is doing amazing, like praise the Lord, um, nolan is a walking miracle. He really is. Most people when they see Nolan they have no idea that he has what he has, and sometimes we'll tell people I'm like what, what? Or maybe I noticed just a tiny little bit of something, but most of the time nobody knows anything at all. Kids don't make fun of him because they can't tell.

Amber Hayes: 15:15

And it is just an amazing story of God's faithfulness and his goodness and his care. Like God is taking amazing care of Nolan. I see Nolan doing things that I never thought he would and there isn't a moment I'm not amazed at what God is doing and allowing him to do. I didn't think he'd ever ride a bike. He does American Ninja Warrior type of gym class. He plays baseball. He loves baseball. He's played flag football and tennis. He spends hours playing soccer with his brother and the neighbors. Everything that Nolan wants to do and loves to do, he does and that is a miracle. That is God's faithfulness and goodness and his power and his might, and yeah, it's amazing.

Nancy Bruscher: 16:08

Well, you kind of explained about how your faith has changed, but is there anything specific that has has really changed for you? Yes, I mean.

Amber Hayes: 16:20

I am. I'm not the same girl that I was before this. I have always been a believer, you know, strong in faith, um. But I feel like, like I said before, scripture became so, so real. It wasn't just stories that you read or things that you believed growing up, it was just so real and so needed and, like I think, when the world gives you no hope whatsoever, in a situation, you have two options, right you can completely turn away from God or you can be like you know what the world gives me no hope.

Amber Hayes: 16:56

And so I'm going to hang on to the one thing that will right. And for Nolan, that is Jesus, that is his hope and what he needs, and for me also. And so you know something when you put your hope only in him and nothing else, something changes inside you. And so I started to, you know, find peace in God. And despite what the medical world was telling us because you know they're saying awfulness, but God says I have goodness and faithfulness for you, and so I'm going to put all my eggs in that one basket in Jesus.

Amber Hayes: 17:35

You know, I've learned not to underestimate a very good and faithful God. I spent hours and hours and hours crying and worrying and thinking things were going to be so bad, and none of that has come to pass. And so just realizing that I, whenever I do feel fearful, I can replace that with faith, and also being like you never know what God is going to do, you know, and when he promises that he is good, he is actually really, really good. And then I've just learned to look much harder and longer at the times in my life that God has been faithful, to tackle that fear with faith and reminding myself that just as God has been faithful in the past, he will be faithful tomorrow and the next day and the next day and forever. And so I should plan on that, really a plan on God being faithful and just keeping my eyes on Jesus, if that makes sense.

Nancy Bruscher: 18:26

No, it does. I was just thinking when they gave this diagnosis to you, and he still has it right, Like we're talking about the miracles that he's done, but he still has this disorder, right.

Amber Hayes: 18:42

Yes, I mean we've not been told he does not have it.

Nancy Bruscher: 18:45

Right.

Amber Hayes: 18:46

Right. Whatever they told us then is exactly what we know now. Nothing has really changed.

Nancy Bruscher: 18:53

And did they give you times as far as, like, he might not make it to be 10 or anything like that?

Amber Hayes: 19:00

Yes, and so kids that have ataxia telangiectasia all present it a little bit differently. Some are more severe than others. Some lose the ability to walk really, really early, and some can walk for a while. Some get cancer and don't live very long, and some live a little bit longer, and so it was all a matter of like well, here's what he has, here's what it does, but we don't know, and so I mean that is terrorizing in and of itself. You know, you can't like be like, okay, I know that this is going to happen, so I can prepare for that. It's a they say this could, but I don't know, and waiting, and I mean thank goodness it hasn't.

Amber Hayes: 19:50

Are the doctors like amazed as well of how he's doing. You know what. He never has to go really see like the big specialists all the time, but his pediatrician she is always so happy to see him. She is like, wow, he is playing sports and wow, he's doing American Ninja Warrior. He looks really good.

Amber Hayes: 20:05

How do you want others to treat Nolan? I want Nolan to be treated like all other kids his age. You know. I want people to talk with him like he's normal and to play with him and to cheer for him and the things that he does, and I want people to always keep praying for him, for Nolan.

Amber Hayes: 20:23

We did tell Nolan just this last summer so not even quite a year ago because we really realized that as he's going to his normal pediatrician checkups once a year, he is going to start picking up on the things that are asked or talked about and we wanted him to hear it from us first.

Amber Hayes: 20:40

He does not know the extent of what he has, he just knows. We told him that his body works differently than other kids and here are some of the things about what he might feel his body doing, but that God is taking care of him, body doing, but that that God is taking care of him. And so for Nolan it is not really a thing, you know. And so when people, however they're interacting with him, treating him normal, because for him he is, he is very normal and he, you know, feels like he's doing great at everything and he is, and so I don't want someone to look at him and treat him differently and then him be like wait, wait, wait a second. Why, you know, yeah, are you treating me that way when my body works a little different? But I am normal and look at me hit this baseball, you know. And so just cheering him on and the things that he does, but then always just continuing to pray for him too, yeah, well, and I wonder.

Nancy Bruscher: 21:37

I was just thinking of this. I was like I wonder if it would be not even like, why would you need to tell him, at least for sure, for a long time, like this is what could happen to you, because it's not happening? Right you know what I mean. Like yes, this is what they say, but we don't know, because God is the God of miracles and he holds your life. And yes, yeah, I mean yeah, had I told.

Amber Hayes: 22:05

Nolan sorry buddy you won't be able to ever ride a bike. I would have been completely wrong and scared him for nothing. You know, and so you know. I want Nolan to know the truth, but appropriately for his age and where he's at, and for him to just feel really normal and good about who he is and how his body works.

Nancy Bruscher: 22:28

Yeah. Do you worry about him more or treat him maybe differently than your other three than?

Amber Hayes: 22:40

your other three. I don't. I think that I would if he was not doing well. Absolutely I would probably, you know, coddle him more and worry about him more and treat him a little bit more sensitively. But he is doing so well that we treat him just like we do our other kids. My husband, jim, I was telling him about this and we were just talking about it and he said, if anything, we sometimes are a little bit harder on him because we're like sleep is really, really important for you, buddy, go to bed. Please stop moving your bed, go to sleep. You know, trying to push him to have healthy habits for what his body actually needs, yeah, so, and like I sometimes worry about him a little bit more, like when he gets a cold, I worry about it a little bit more than I would my other three getting a cold or if he falls down and gets hurt.

Amber Hayes: 23:26

I worry about it a little bit more, um, but every single time he's fine and God just shows me hey, I got this, so that's so good yeah.

Nancy Bruscher: 23:36

What do you pray over him the most? No matter what the doctors say, no matter what he has in his future. What do you, what do you pray for him?

Amber Hayes: 23:47

Yeah, um, you know. More than anything, my husband and I um want Nolan to know Jesus, you know, and to follow him all the days of his life. You know, and I want him to. I want Nolan to learn to love others and to know how loved he is by us, by his family, his friends and by God. I want that for him and I want Nolan to always be able to do all the things he wants to do and all the things that he loves to do. Nolan wants to be a professional baseball player when he grows up.

Amber Hayes: 24:26

I want him to always be able to play baseball. You know, and Nolan told me since he was really young that he is going to get married when he is 25. He tells me this still to this day, since he was like three. I'm going to get married when I'm 25 and she's going to be my girl, you know, and so I want him to be able to do that. I think anything that a mom wants for their kid I want for Nolan. But more than anything, I just want him to know Jesus, and when I pray for him, I always pray that God will heal his body and I always thank God for what he's doing and what a miracle that Nolan is. I just also just pray that, you know, nolan will follow the Lord and that he will grow in wisdom and stature, and I think that's the most important thing.

Nancy Bruscher: 25:16

One thing that you said earlier was that you were just like just begging God, just praying. I feel like I hear that a lot from people just with different things in their life. Right, like I am desperate for this. I'm desperate for my kids to turn back to God. Like and the question always comes up, like, if these are good things, like why wouldn't? Why wouldn't God say, yes, right, I could, could you speak?

Amber Hayes: 25:47

yeah, this huge theological question into yeah, I think we never know why, you know God allows things to happen the way that they do. I mean, I definitely, um, when all this began, felt really picked on, if that makes sense. Like we just went through IVF, we couldn't get pregnant and now we finally have this joy and now this. And I just feel really picked on. And why God? Why us? Why Nolan? Why this? What could you possibly teach us?

Amber Hayes: 26:19

Through this, I've learned that asking God why is normal, but you aren't always going to have the answer if that makes sense, and so I don't know. It's a really hard thing I feel like to talk to. You know, I wish I was in God's mind where he's like, yeah, but you don't see this. You mind where he's like, yeah, but you don't see this. You know I see it, but you don't see it. And I'm like why? Just let me see it. You know, even I even remember being like if you could just tell me, like what it's going to be in 10 years, that will help me. But God, I think, for me is he's like. I'm here in waiting and I want you to learn to see me and keep your eyes on me and follow me in the waiting and hanging on to the things that he has given us in his word too, if that makes sense.

Nancy Bruscher: 27:14

I feel like no, that was wonderful. I just I think that's a really common question and or just a thought like I do hear that a lot of like I'm on my on my knees, I'm begging God for this and I don't hear an answer, or I'm still waiting for the answer, and it's such a hard place to be in, right it is just, it is really hard and, you know, because of that, because of the waiting and because of the unanswered questions, it really has drawn me to Jesus more than I ever have.

Amber Hayes: 27:54

You know, because I don't know why and I don't know what like I started reading God's word and we I don't know why and I don't know what Like I started reading God's word and I said this a little bit before, but it was like all the words in the Bible became like the best bread you've ever eaten, you know, and it's like I need it, I want to eat it, I want more of it.

Amber Hayes: 28:16

And it's because I was like searching for the answers of why God and he's like here I am, you know, like I. I don't I can't tell you exactly why, but I can tell you this is who I am, this is I am good, I am faithful, no matter what is going on. I want you to learn these things. And so, um, because I didn't know why God used that yeah, you know to draw me to him, to draw Jim to him, and even to just draw our kids. You know, it's like the things I now can teach my kids about faith and the Lord is so different than what I would have probably said to them before this happened. If that makes sense sense, yes.

Nancy Bruscher: 28:57

So it's so beautiful. I think just people who are going through something just hearing these words of encouragement, I think are it's so good and I love how you're you're praising God for the miracles that are happening. Yeah, because I I hear sometimes like, oh, if we just had miracles like we used to in the Bible. I just don't think we see them. This is a true miracle it is a true miracle.

Amber Hayes: 29:25

It really is. God is still doing those things, yeah, like healing people.

Nancy Bruscher: 29:32

He is.

Amber Hayes: 29:33

And you know, sometimes I hear stories of like someone that got healed right away, you know, and I'll be like why not Nolan right away, you know? But then I have to go back to and look and be like, but yeah, but look what I am doing right here, right now. This is a miracle. This scooter that he's riding that's hard to balance on miracle, these rings that he's swinging across on the playground. Miracle, you understanding the words coming out of his mouth. A miracle.

Amber Hayes: 30:03

You know, when all this started, my church was amazing and they were like, hey, would you want to do some counseling, just to kind of help you get through this as a mom and as a family?

Amber Hayes: 30:15

And so I went and saw just the sweetest, best biblical counselor and one thing that she told me was you need to live in the moment, with Nolan and in what God is doing, instead of always thinking of the future, being like I need the big miracle and I need it right now, or when's it going to be, or this is what's going to happen.

Amber Hayes: 30:37

And she said you just, every single day, you watch Nolan and you're like Thank you God for what he is doing right now and soak all of that in and realizing that not all miracles are a gigantic healing, right then you know that what he is doing right now is also praiseworthy. And so it's such a hard thing to like live in the moment when you're like the future could look really dim or it could look really great. And I just want to know and I think we all do that we're all like what? Like the future could look really dim or it could look really great, and I just want to know and I think we all do that we're all like what does the future hold? You know, god is proving to me in the small moments that he really does have this, and I love praising him for that.

Nancy Bruscher: 31:16

I love it, and I think acknowledging those things and praising the Lord for his faithfulness helps me remember that like he will keep doing it yeah, yeah, well, and I heard something once and it was like you know, god brought Lazarus back from the dead like big miracle, but he didn't stay alive forever.

Nancy Bruscher: 31:36

Right, like most of the time, miracles aren't, they're not just like, okay, now everything's perfect forever right, like you know and so, um, I just love how you're, you're holding on to these like truly, truly miracles and praising God, and like giving, giving praise where it's due and being grateful and because you could still be like, but God, yeah, oh yeah. That just gives me so much hope for for myself, so thanks for sharing that, okay. Well, what would you say to someone whose child does have a health problem? Or, you know, maybe you're just a parent or a grandparent, or a person who lives in fear of your own health or the health of someone else you know because worry of like, or you know, what does this look like? What does this look like? What I think all of us can really relate to, that, um, what, what advice would you give?

Amber Hayes: 32:37

I mean one thing is just keeping your eyes on Jesus. I think that was the biggest thing for me. You know, a verse that I read over and over and prayed over and over is Psalm 89, 11, and it is teach me your ways, o Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness, give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name. And for me that was help my heart and my eyes to be completely on you and teach me what your ways are like, so that I can rely on you, because God is reliable, even when it doesn't feel like he is. You know, at the very beginning and your world comes completely crashing down from what you ever thought it would be, like hopes, dreams, ideas. You know, you realize that you have no control, but God really does. And so you know, all the time I spent worrying over things that could be, or the things I had no control of. They never actually even happened.

Amber Hayes: 33:46

And this may sound harsh, but like I feel like I worried for nothing you know, and I think that that's true of all of life is that, no matter what God's got this, no matter what it looks like today or tomorrow, the next day, he has got this and he is bringing everything for you know, forward toward his kingdom and for our good.

Amber Hayes: 34:08

And so I think one is just learning how do you get from point A to point B, you know, relying on the Lord to be like okay, I am frantic, I have zero strength within me to even pull myself out of this awful feelings and this worry, so I need you to do it, god, get me to point B, where I have peace. That is beyond all understanding. And so I think it is just keeping your eyes on Jesus when things look really, really scary or uncertain, and then just living in that moment and watching God work, because he does it in such small ways that we forget, you know, we just keep going through life and not looking back at our day even, and being like look what you just did today, like you did that, god, I needed that, you know.

Nancy Bruscher: 34:56

Or like I was having a really bad mom moment and you were strong where I was weak, even in just these small moments of the day, and so, um really looking at what, what God is doing, I don't know how this came about, but sometimes I read, especially like the old testament, and you read about the miracles that God did, like he brought them out of Egypt, he like parted the red sea and then, like 30 days later, I it's off, I know um but not very long afterwards they're literally worshiping a golden calf.

Nancy Bruscher: 35:31

I know yeah and you're like, no that, how could they do that? And then I look at my own life and I'm like, oh, I forget the goodness of God, I forget his faithfulness, I forget the miracles he's done To remember those and to stay in that during the next hard thing. The next thing is to remember his faithfulness, like you were talking about.

Amber Hayes: 36:00

And I think it's hard when something looks really really scary, it's hard not to look at it and worry about it and stare at it and be like, oh my goodness, this is really really scary, and you forget what God has already done. And I think that, just like the Israelites are like, I can totally relate to their story of God does this amazing thing. And then I'm back to worrying and back to thinking I need to get control of something that I have no control over, or and then realizing, oh look God, of something that I have no control over, or and then realizing, oh look God, you just took care of that too.

Nancy Bruscher: 36:30

Okay, Okay, I hear you. Yeah, that's good. So we always end our podcasts with these three questions what is your favorite Bible verse or story?

Amber Hayes: 36:39

Okay, um, no, I have a million Bible verses. I hang on to um in times where things are really hard or even when I'm just praising. But one of my favorite Bible stories is reading about the woman who needed healing and she crawled her way through the crowd just to get to Jesus. And I can't tell you how many times I've thought if I could just live right, then I would grab Nolan and I would drag ourselves through that crowd and I would make it there like I would make it to Jesus and I would touch his cloak and Nolan would be healed. And what I love about that story is that she was, she knew that she needed Jesus, and so I love it. I love the idea of, like, I will do whatever it takes to be near to Jesus and I will bring Nolan near to Jesus whatever it takes, and, um, and my other kids also and um, so I love that story. I have a lot of paper Bible stories, but that's one. That's one. That's one that sticks out in my mind in this situation for sure.

Nancy Bruscher: 37:49

Yeah, or the three guys that go to the top of the house and they take the roof apart and bring him down. Yes, kind of like the same thing of this desperate need for Jesus. Yes, and yeah, that's so beautiful, I'm so beautiful. What are you grateful for?

Amber Hayes: 38:11

Oh man, I am so thankful that Nolan is doing well, so thankful, and I'm really thankful that I get to be a mom and for my family, over and over all day, I just think, thank you God, thank you God, thank you God. And even when I'm like, why are my kids acting like this, you know? Or how am I going to get through this crazy situation, trying to bring myself back in panic, thank you so much that I don't have to do this. I get to do this. So I really, really think I feel really thankful for that. I feel so thankful for the prayers of friends and family and the encouragement of the people who have really just walked this entire story with us, from beginning till even today. There are no words to explain how thankful I am for that, and I am just thankful for Jesus. Just thank goodness, thank goodness for Jesus.

Nancy Bruscher: 39:07

So good. What kindness have you received or given in the last week?

Amber Hayes: 39:12

Yes, well, I actually shared with someone this week that I was going to do this podcast First initially. Just that I was going to do a podcast and how I felt super reserved and nervous about it.

Amber Hayes: 39:25

And then, when I shared that it was going to be about Nolan, I asked her to pray for me and she did. And then she called and she asked me how I was feeling about it and reminded me of things God taught me as I was learning to trust more in him. And it was so kind and so thoughtful and I felt really encouraged that she did that.

Nancy Bruscher: 39:47

That's awesome. Well, I've really enjoyed talking with you and thank you for being on and sharing your story, and I know that what I love is that people don't have to have your exact story to learn something from it or be inspired, or gosh. Yeah, I know how she felt in this moment, not because of the exact same circumstances, but right, yeah, so thank you I feel like telling our stories is so important, so thank you for telling yours yes, and thank you for asking me at ordinary people, extraordinary things.

Nancy Bruscher: 40:23

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