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Ordinary People Extraordinary Things
106. The Truth Will Set You Free with Cecilia McGaw
What happens when secrets protected for survival become the very chains that imprison us? Cecilia McCaw knows this journey intimately. Smuggled into the United States as a child and living undocumented for years, she guarded family secrets out of necessity. But even after gaining legal status, those secrets morphed into shame-filled barriers that prevented authentic connection and perpetuated lies about her worth.
"Knowledge is plentiful, but wisdom is scarce," Cecilia shares, highlighting how divine wisdom transcends formal education. Despite struggling with illiteracy due to language barriers, she found herself speaking truth to doctoral graduates—a testament to wisdom's power over mere information. This distinction forms the foundation of her message about identity: understanding whose we are determines who we are.
The conversation takes us deep into the battlefield of the mind, where childhood experiences plant seeds that shape our adult identity. Cecilia vulnerably unpacks how moving experiences from "secret files" to "private files" broke the enemy's power in her life. By sharing authentically with discernment, she discovered freedom from the "not enough" lies that once defined her. Her practical approach to healing—comparing it to peeling an onion one layer at a time—offers hope to anyone wrestling with past trauma.
Perhaps most compelling is Cecilia's candid admission about comparison. From swimsuit insecurities to ministry effectiveness, she reveals how comparison steals joy and invites destructive thoughts. Her remedy? Recognizing our unique design in God's tapestry, where each person has a specific purpose—whether as a corner piece with straight edges or those quirky pieces with unusual shapes.
Ready to break free from secrets that no longer serve you? Cecilia's story proves that vulnerability becomes our superpower when surrendered to God's purposes. Share this episode with someone struggling to embrace their true identity—because authentic connection begins when we stop hiding and start healing.
Buy Cecilia’s book… https://a.co/d/fW13LHg
https://youtu.be/UoTmKr6vr7g?si=WhNpdCoJmo-O38q_
To watch Cecilia's whole story
https://generationstogenerations.com/podcast
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I'm so glad you're here. I'm Nancy Brusher and I'm your host for Ordinary People Extraordinary Things, where you get real hope, real stories from everyday people just like you. Today we have Cecilia McCaw and it's a jam-packed episode. If you listen to podcasts on a higher speed, like I do, you might want to slow this one down or listen to it twice. You may have noticed that this podcast is coming out on a Wednesday and not Sunday, like we always do.
Nancy Bruscher:We made a quick, unexpected trip to Iowa to attend my aunt's funeral. Though funerals are never fun, I do like the reflection time that it gives me. What I thought about was how we often don't take the time to send those little texts letting people know that we're thinking of them or to encourage them. We think we might be too busy. Side note, if you haven't listened to the last podcast called Crazy Busy, let's talk about what really matters with Muffy Cruise. I'd encourage you to listen to that one To be reminded that we're not too busy to send a text or a message or make a phone call Letting people know that we're thinking of them, praying for them and encouraging them in what they're doing. The funeral also reminded me how important our pictures are, and having them labeled and having them categorized so that when things come up we can find them and use them. Now I know that we think we're all too busy to do something so mundane like go through our family photos, but do it now.
Nancy Bruscher:If you need help, reach out to me at generations2generationscom. Generations is plural and two is T-O. Now let's get started with Cecilia. Welcome to ordinary people. Extraordinary things. I'm so glad that you've joined us and I'm so glad that Cecilia has joined us on the podcast today. So happy to be here, and Cecilia has written a book. I'm fighting for an identity and so we're gonna be chatting this book, but if people don't know who you are, could you give three words or phrases to describe yourself?
Cecilia McGaw:Okay, I am, first of all, a daughter of the Most High King, and that is and I am a citizen of heaven, husband and a mother to two of my natural biological children and two inherited children that I was blessed with when I married my husband, and I am a warrior in God's army.
Nancy Bruscher:That's good. I hear your identity already coming out, and that's what we're going to talk about. Identity already coming out, and that's what we're we're going to talk about. First of all, I did want to share my favorite quote that I think I have so out of your book. It says in today's world of abundant information, knowledge is plentiful, but wisdom is scarce.
Cecilia McGaw:Yes, to me that means so much Because, as you do read through my story, I was illiterate for many years of my life, not because of lack of intelligence or ability to retain information, but because there was a language barrier smuggled into the country, so my primary language was Spanish, and so, when I went into the school system and everything was in English, spanish wasn't embraced at the time, or multi-lingual students were not embraced at the time I didn't understand the language right, and so I didn't feel like I had this knowledge. And so I say that, because wisdom is divine and wisdom is a gift, it's not something that can be taught, it's something that can only be heard by the heavenlies right, and oftentimes when I go and speak at different you know venues and events. Especially when I first started, I was very intimidated, because I remember one of my very first public speaking events for the kingdom was at a Texas A&M, and it was for the graduates that were graduating with their doctorate, and I thought what the heck am I doing here? You know, like I have. No, I've never been on a college campus like ever, like not to register, not to attend, and now here I am speaking at one, and so it was very intimidating and I remember that the Lord showed up in a big way that day and several of the attendees that were there, you know they were already graduates, they have already had accomplished their bachelor's and their master's and they were working on their doctorate.
Cecilia McGaw:And I remember this one woman who came up to me and she said to me, she said, where did you get all this information? And I'm like, well, I mean, this is part of my story and I these are the things that my life lessons learned, you know. And she's like, yeah, but where did you get the facts and the information? And I didn't understand the question because I'm like I'm just sharing what I've learned and I think that's a pivotal point in my life when I saw the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Because, again, it was very intimidating being amongst these women that were very, very well educated, beautiful women, and I was giving them information, that one they were able to connect with, and I truly never believed I had anything to offer because of my lack of experience, especially with education.
Cecilia McGaw:But that comes from the Lord and that's why I'm saying, like, this abundance of head knowledge, it's good, because we do, we need it and when we connect, you know, this head knowledge to the wisdom that God brings into us, father. It just becomes like this dynamic, powerful message, and wisdom is everything you know in King Solomon, like when the Lord asked him, like what do you want? He said I want wisdom. He didn't want anything else.
Cecilia McGaw:And wisdom means that we're tuned in to the Holy Spirit when he has to say to us and it's something that no one other than the Father from above can give us, and so it's something that I treasure and I cherish not only the wisdom that he's imparted into me, but the wisdom that he's imparted into other people, and I've learned how to say like I don't know and I'm willing to receive, and that's you know. That's another story that's layered kind of in my book. But putting pride down and knowing that we all have room to learn and to grow just from talking with each other and sharing wisdom. So wisdom is powerful, yeah.
Nancy Bruscher:And your story of fighting for your identity has to do with your childhood and, like you said, being smuggled from Mexico to the United States. It sounds like several times throughout your life. Now some people who listen might be able to resonate with that. Many people probably cannot who are listening, but the idea of identity, I think, is no matter your childhood, no matter your upbringing. I think we all have this. I don't know problem or this. Yes, you know like and your real identity is hard right.
Cecilia McGaw:Absolutely, and so that's one of the things is that we do. We all have a different story, we all had a different upbringing, and this is where you know, going back to that wisdom, it's not. I am not a therapist, I'm not a psychologist or a counselor of any sort. I've never been to college, but I have learned this and I remember, in writing this book, I was like Lord, I am willing to share my story, I am willing to be vulnerable for the sake of somebody else's gain, but I need you to be in it and I need you. I need your name to be glorified and I wanted to know that it is going to extend your kingdom. And so, in praying that, it kind of came to me that it's in our childhood.
Cecilia McGaw:Our childhood are the most formative years of our life, and this is when we're shaped by our surroundings, by our community, by our parents, by our friends, by our teachers, and the things that get said to us or not said to us are the things that shape us. And the thing is, is that the enemy, the enemy being the devil? And I always want to be very clear about who the enemy is. If the devil can rob us in the innocence of our childhood, then he has a better opportunity or a better shot at robbing, killing and destroying the future that God has for us. And when I say if he can rob us, rob us up here, because this is the battlefield. If he can plant seeds of lies into us in our childhood that say you know, you're not smart enough, you're not pretty enough, you're really not wanted, what you have to say is not important, and plant these seeds of insecurity and lack of self-worth and envy and all of these things, then those seeds that take root, the ones that kind of really resonate with us and for me it was many. The biggest seed that I had to kind of allow God to come and uproot out of my life was the not enough and not enough of everything. Not enough, fill in the blank, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not anything enough. So if he, when he sees that take root as we go into our adolescent and into our adulthood, he continues to feed into that with every time there's a failure or there's a disappointment, and he'll come and when that disappointment happened he'll come and say you know, they cheated on you because you were not pretty enough. You got passed up because you were not smart enough. You know you didn't get picked because you weren't skinny enough. You didn't. You know they didn't invite you to the team because you're not fast enough. And he just continues to feed that and, before we know it, we go into our adulthood with this filter of not enough and that's how the enemy keeps us captive.
Cecilia McGaw:So, even though maybe somebody has had a different experience than I've had and not everybody gets smuggled in, you know but we've all experienced Insecurity, anger, envy, pridefulness, maybe on different levels, right, because it depends what, what is took the deepest root. But but we all can identify on that level. And this is where we can all come together, link shields with each other and help each other, remind each other who we are in Christ, whose we are. And in John it tells us, like, when we say yes to the Lord, no one, he says, no one can snatch you out of my father's hand. And so we need to come alongside each other and remind each other, not because we have a common childhood or because we have a common trauma or a common experience, but because we have the Holy Spirit inside of us and that is our common ground and that is what brings us together and we know what it's like to feel alone, to feel disappointed, to feel depressed. And it is those things that we can come alongside each other and encourage each other, lifting up the body of Christ and edifying each other, because we're all going to forget who we are.
Cecilia McGaw:If we didn't, then the Bible wouldn't tell us so much over and over. You are a child of God, you know. You are a royal priesthood, you are a treasure, you are the apple of my eye. I mean, if you go through the Bible, you just it's constantly telling us who we are. Why? Because God knew that we were going to struggle with our identity, and the enemy. If he can attack our identity and our character, then I mean he's got, he's got his foothold and he's got his hoof in. We need each other. And I mean I can go on and on, because I'm very passionate about this.
Cecilia McGaw:If I have your permission, I'd love to talk about the difference between secrecy and privacy. Because do I? Yeah, okay, so there's a difference between secrecy and privacy. And for a long time and as you read through my book, you'll know there were so many secrets in my family and so many secrets that I was asked to keep as a child, because we were living undocumented, and so I was protecting those secrets because of this fear of deportation. But as I went into my adulthood, and now I have my green card, I still continue to protect all of those secrets, but for different reasons.
Cecilia McGaw:I protected those secrets because I didn't want to be judged. I didn't want to be judged, I didn't want to be. I didn't want to be rejected by others. I didn't want others to think that I'm a fraud. I didn't you know like I was. I thought if I protect these secrets, then I'm protecting myself. But, nancy, what was truly happening is that I was protecting the enemy. I was protecting all of his secret hiding places that he had in my mind. And so long as I protected these things, then I was protecting him because he could come and he could taunt me and torture me in those spaces and he would come and tell me things like well, of course they like you, but it's because they think you had, you know, these great experiences or, of course, they've accepted you. It's because they think you had, you know these great experiences or, of course, they've accepted you. It's because they don't know that you were a wetback for a long time. Oh, of course they think you're smart because they don't know that you didn't go to college, all of it, I mean. And so I was protecting him.
Cecilia McGaw:But the moment that I began, I began to speak and start just being very transparent and authentic with who I am. And that could only happen because I had confidence in who I was, because I learned whose I was. And once I learned to value that, then I knew nobody can held me captive. And if I started being transparent and speaking authentically, and when I did that, the enemy no longer had space to come and taunt me in that area.
Cecilia McGaw:Because when things happen, here's the thing I'm gonna mess up. I promise you I will mess up. I will mess up before this day is over, but that's okay. My value and my worth and my identity is not based on that disappointment or the thing that I did wrong. It's based on the Father. It's based on the God who created the heavens and earth. That has called me his and has given me an identity through the blood of Jesus Christ. That to that poor girl, but God, and God has already called me his. So so privacy is a space where you expose the lie. Okay, using discernment. In my book I pretty much just kind of put it all out there as far as my childhood.
Cecilia McGaw:But but when we, when we transfer that file from a secret file to a privacy file, it changes, because what happens at that point is using discernment and discernment meaning knowing when to share it and who to share it with, being sensitive to the Holy Spirit. So the Holy Spirit will say share about you know the molestation, okay, and then I speak on it and I pull out that private file. It's no longer a secret file but it's a private file. Or maybe I'm speaking to somebody and I, because I you know, when you're a kid and and you're playing with other kids and you're like, I know you are, but what am I? Well, it takes one to know one. That's the one that I was going for. Sometimes I confuse it because I think in Spanish and I speak in English and you know it all gets confused. I'm like Buzz Lightyear, but okay, so it takes one to know one. That statement cannot be so true, because when I am talking with someone and I can, I know what the indicators are and I could see myself in that then I will speak up and I will say you know, we were undocumented for a long time and they're like really, I'm like, yeah, and now they're interested. Now they're like, okay, well, tell me, how did you guys like, what did you do? And so I start sharing on that. Or if I'm sensing that there was maybe a betrayal or an infidelity, I'll say I was once unfaithful as well and I bring that. But that's the Holy Spirit telling me speak, take out that private file that doesn't need to be shared with everybody all the time and be willing to talk about it. My son believes. He's an atheist for a long time. Now I think he's transferred into agnostic. So my son believes he's an atheist for a long time.
Cecilia McGaw:Again, when I hear that mama's hurt and that voice and the Lord tells me pull out the file, I pull out that file and it's no longer a secret. See, because all of these things infidelity, an adult, a strange child, um, undocumentation all of these things like have this shame that come alongside them, right, and people don't want to talk about it. They don't want to talk about it for the same reasons I didn't want to talk about it Fear of judgment. You know they don't want to talk about it because they're going to be rejected or whatever. But going in and pulling them out just displaces the enemy and he has no place to hide. There's nothing that he can talk to you about. There's almost nothing that anybody can say about me that I haven't already said myself. And that is true freedom. Because nobody can hold me hostage and I will not ever go back into the yoke of slavery that the enemy had me in hostage and I will not ever go back into the yoke of slavery that the enemy had me in. So I would rather speak truth and be authentic. And there's something powerful that happens in that, because when somebody is authentic and you're having a conversation with them and they are just being real, you know they're being real. You know when it's a surface conversation, you know when they're they're laying it out and being real.
Cecilia McGaw:I have developed the deepest, most beautiful friendships because of authenticity and with many ages, from ages, you know, like teenagers.
Cecilia McGaw:I talked to a lot of teenagers, all the way up to women in their 80s and that authenticity level breaks everything down and we begin to develop true friendship.
Cecilia McGaw:And let me tell you one thing that I know for a fact that the Lord delights in is authentic relationship, because we are relational beings. We were made by a relational God. We are made in his image and that is something beautiful that he cherishes so much, so that he tells us. He says, before you bring your gift up to the altar, you go to your brother and sister that you know things are not right with and you make it up with them and you seek reconciliation, and then come and offer me your gift. What does that tell you? How much does he value relationship and friendship, and what would it look like for us, as women, to champion other women simply by being honest and authentic, taking off the mask and saying, hey, this is real, like it might look like this from the outside, we might look like an Ethan Allen commercial, but it's not. It's messy and it's a bunch of onions and each layer of each onion is a little stinky. But that's okay, because I know a God who makes all things beautiful and gives us beauty for ashes.
Nancy Bruscher:That's so good, that's so interesting, cause I did have on my notes, like you are so vulnerable in your book and all things beautiful and gives us beauty for ashes. That's so good, that's so interesting, because I did have on my notes, like you are so vulnerable in your book and is it hard to be vulnerable? And you just you just answered that as far as yes, but this is why I do it. And my next question is is that what if people are listening and they're saying, yes, I did have a childhood that you know, I know, has this baggage or this trauma or stuff I'm working through? And you said it's such a formative time of your years. What would you say to someone that's like, okay, I don't know if I can get past that, then there's so many things that I'd need to work through.
Cecilia McGaw:Right. Well, I mean, and we all do. And here's the thing is that our God is gentle, right, when we look at Galatians and he lists the fruits of the spirit, one of the fruits is gentleness, and that is a fruit that the Holy Spirit has, so he's not going to come and just boom, expose it. When you see, when you read what you're reading in the book, this wasn't an overnight process. This is something that took years and time, and each time, each time that a layer of this, let's call it the onion I'm just feeling like an onion today. So each time one of these layers of onion is peeled, then you know it's time for the next one, and so you just take it one step at a time, one bite at a time, and it's also important to know and recognize which fruit, which layer of that onion is ripe to be healed and to be transformed and to be renewed, because we can't go and force ourselves to something that has not yet been processed. In James, it tells us I want to say it's James 6, it says you can't heal a wound by saying it isn't there. So the very first step, if we're in denial, we're like well, that didn't bother me, that was a long time ago. It doesn't hurt. Well, if it didn't, then why does it keep coming up up here? Or why does it keep coming out of here? If it keeps coming out of here or it keeps popping up in here each time, well, let me tell you, it's holding you hostage, and sometimes we just don't know right. And so so we have to know which fruit is ripe, because a fruit that is ripe to bring to the altar and say, okay, lord, I'm ready to face this piece about my mom, like, help me. And sometimes we can't do it alone. I mean, we're not doing it alone because we're doing it with God, right, but we tangibly cannot do it alone. We need to find people who are willing to mentor us, people who are going to be our cheerleaders and our champions and who are going to pray for us and who, you see, operating alignment with the word of God, and we ask them to help us. Many churches across the US and across the world have programs like Freedom Prayer, celebrate Recovery.
Cecilia McGaw:Celebrate Recovery was huge in my healing and in my recovery, because basically that's what they do, is we take one thing at a time and we take an inventory of our life and we say, okay, here are the things that happened and here is what happened to me, here's what it caused and here's my part in it. So I take accountability for sanctified and all of us, even myself. I am still finding new levels of healing. I am still finding new areas in me where I do not look like Christ. There are still some parts of my past that still torture me and taunt me, and that's okay, because I have a hope in a living God who is bringing me out of that. And so long as we're on this side, we're gonna constantly be renewed and sanctified, and it's a process.
Cecilia McGaw:Extend yourself grace, like we have a father who extends us extravagant grace, like it is almost reckless and abundant. It is just so much. We need to extend that same grace to ourselves, and sometimes it's hard to receive it, and so we need to start small. So maybe it's not about tackling, you know, the trauma or the effects of a betrayal. Maybe we just need to start with like okay, lord, like, teach me to be still, teach me to trust you with these things and just help me. Take it one day at a time and rise up.
Cecilia McGaw:Women around me, or men around me, if you're a man you know, rise up these women around me, highlight them who they are, that they are a safe place that I can go, that I can trust will lead me back to your word, because, ultimately, everything has to be filtered through the word of God If it's going to give us long lasting healing, long lasting freedom. Everything else is going to be temporary. Everything else on this side of eternity, the well is going to run dry. The only abundant living water that we're going to constantly be renewed by is the one that comes from the heavenlies, and I know that's a lot and I just get a little passionate. It might even sound a little bit confusing, but that's the best way I can answer that.
Nancy Bruscher:Well, and if people get your book, which we'll do a link in the show notes. But what I really like is, not only is it your story because I love stories, obviously that's what I'm doing is capturing stories and I feel like they're what makes us share about God and just connects us in beautiful ways. But you have so much scripture in here, which I love. But then you also have a reflection time at the end of every chapter and I feel like this is so beautiful for someone you know that might be going through some things. I think that you give such a beautiful way for someone to not only hear your story, but they might start going through their own story as well.
Cecilia McGaw:So this is really cool and this is. I love that you kind of started with wisdom, like and you just put that out there, because this is definitely, this is definitely wisdom. I could not have written this book without the Holy Spirit in me and without God guiding me through it. Again, when I wrote it, I was like Lord, I want to make sure that this is going to be something that is honoring to you. I wanted to make sure that it is life giving and that it's not just a story. I want to make sure that it's going to bring people to their knees and draw them closer to you. So the strategy that he gave me for this book and let me tell you I am not this clever friend, so I know it's all him so he gave me four sections for each chapter and how I was to write this book. So what you're going to find in each chapter is there's going to be a core memory of my childhood. For example, chapter one is getting smuggled in and it's going to tell you like how I got smuggled in, like the things that happened, what I was feeling, you know, at the moments that I was being smuggled in, and it's going to give you all of the details that I never really thought were important. But people really like to know, like, like, what do you mean? So, yeah, how many times did you get smuggled? And I got. I was like a professional smuggler by the time I was seven, you know, because I knew exactly how it was going to get done. So it gives you kind of all of the story. But then the second section is the entanglements. This is where I can clearly go back to my childhood and almost see the enemy dropping these seeds of deception and he wanted me to believe lies about myself, about other people and about God and how I viewed them. So it kind of takes you through the entanglements that started. Then the third section is the truth revealed, how God redeemed, healed and restored that lie and how he replaced it with truth. And then the fourth section of the book is a reflection piece for you, for the reader. So it doesn't matter what your childhood was like or if it was anything like mine, because they're very specific questions to that part of your childhood, to just kind of go and help you identify who were the people that were in my ear, what were the thoughts that were going through my mind, what seeds did get planted, what from this is still tainting how I process, how I perceive people, how I perceive God, how I perceive myself. And so if you go through each chapter and complete the reflection piece, what you'll find is that at the end of the eight chapters, you'll be able to clearly identify the pattern and the continuous pitfalls of those lies that you believed. And that's a really great starting point to kind of just identify. Okay, like what are some of the things that I'm struggling with?
Cecilia McGaw:I work with many women. I'm in women's ministry and one of the things that I do with them is I mentor them through writing out their testimony, because we come together for a testimony gathering once a month and so as I hear their stories, I just kind of like write little notes and I'm like did you realize that you mentioned this particular part of your story like six different times. They're like did I? I'm like, yeah, so let's go back to that. And that's how we find those little patterns. And so I believe that again, very divinely, that is what God gave me with. This is like okay, now we're going to help others go through that. So if you go through each of the reflection pieces, you will see a pattern and you will. It'll give you a starting point of like. Okay, where am I still believing some of these lies about myself?
Nancy Bruscher:Good. Something else that really popped out to me in reading your book is the comparison trap. Isn't that something that I think, again, we can all identify with is oh, it's so hard not to compare yourself identify with is oh, it's so hard not to compare yourself.
Cecilia McGaw:Yes, gosh, the comparison trap is something that is a daily for me. Sometimes it's something so subtle and something so small, and sometimes it's something really big. And the comparison trap is truly the thief of joy, because when we begin to compare ourselves to somebody else whether we're comparing ourselves or we're comparing our families, our children, our husband to somebody else what we're actually doing is we're almost inviting the enemy, the devil. Again, I always want to be clear who the enemy is. We're almost inviting him in to say come and tell me lies about my body. We recently put a poll in, which is something I always wanted for a long, long time. And so we recently put a poll and we've had a lot of friends come over. And you know, I'm in my 50s and I'm not no spring chicken, right. But I see some of my friends and I'm like, wow, I really need to start working out, you know, because I'm just like I don't look like that in a swimsuit, you know, and that's OK to do, that. That's healthy, like if it's motivating me. And I did. I actually signed up recently for Hot Works. That's a story for another day. But so I'm like, ok, I probably need to get to the gym and start doing something to honor my body. And it stopped there. But I will tell you, five years ago, 10 years ago, it would not have stopped there. It would have been oh my goodness, you're so fat. Oh, it's because you have no self-control and, yeah, you eat all this junk food and you're never going to be fit and like all these things. And before you know it, it might seem subtle and small and insignificant, but after a while our shoulders start to drop down and we start, we start walking around, you know, beaten up, defeated, and sometimes it's bigger things, even in ministry. For those of you who are in ministry, I'm speaking straight to you.
Cecilia McGaw:I've been in ministry for a long time and once upon a time I'd go to a conference and you know I speak at the conference and then I'm like okay, well, thank you, lord for using me to and speaking through me. And then the next speaker goes up and I'm like, oh my gosh, her dialogue is amazing, her vocabulary. You know, I don't speak. It's because you're dumb, it's because you didn't really learn English, it's because you were illiterate, like, and it all comes back and, before I know it.
Cecilia McGaw:The joy that the Lord gave me and allowed me to delight and to say do you see, cecilia, how we have partnered up and your yes is helping extend the kingdom, that joy that I felt for a second is now deflated because I started comparing myself to the next speaker or with my son. He was estranged from me for several years and I would see other families and I would see their son. That was about my son's age and I'm like in admiration. I'm like, wow, that's awesome, maybe I should have. In admiration. I'm like, wow, that's awesome, like I wish maybe I should have done things different. And then the enemy is like whoa, invitation, let's go. Yeah, you were a bad mom. Remember you did this. Oh, it was probably the time that you spanked him. It was like, oh, like he'll just come rushing in.
Cecilia McGaw:That comparison trap sometimes could be so subtle and so small a little swimsuit, oh, I need to lose some weight to something really big. But all those tiny little comparisons will make us lose our self-worth. They'll make us think that we're not valuable. We start judging ourselves and we just start inviting the enemy to come in and feed us junk. And this is where we need to be wise enough. That wisdom, oh my goodness, it's huge that we need to be wise enough to come back and say, lord, here's how I'm feeling. And when I talk to God, let me tell you it sounds like a conversation like you and I, and it'll sound something like Lord.
Cecilia McGaw:I don't know why I am letting this trip me up. I am so happy for my friend, kristen, who has these amazing kids and, like he's a pastor, he's doing great things. I'm happy for her. Help me to find the joy in the way I parented and help me to see the hope that I have in the things that you're doing in my child and how you are creating him in his own unique person and how he will have his own divine purpose. Help me to be thankful in that.
Cecilia McGaw:And then the thoughts come. You know why? Because when my son comes to his salvation point which I am believing for, and I know that the Lord has promised him and I'm not afraid to say it I am waiting for the day and I hope that it's when I'm still on this side of eternity, because when my son comes to know the Lord, his extension will be so much greater than mine because he will know how to speak to the atheist community, to the agnostic community. You put me in front of a bunch of atheists. I don't even know where to start or what to say, because I've never experienced it. But my son he has, and when he comes into his full identity, into his full glory of who God created him to be, he is going to have a voice and a reach that I don't have.
Cecilia McGaw:And so, even though my son may look different than somebody else's son, that's okay, because we don't go by what we see by sight, we go by what we know in our hearts of who our God is, and he is the same yesterday, today and forever.
Cecilia McGaw:And obviously, you can see, I'm very passionate about my faith in the Lord and every question seems to be a little sermon. So I apologize for that, but this is who my God is, and I cannot tell you enough. The world is not perfect. My life is currently not perfect, it's never perfect, but what makes it perfect is a perfect God who has his hand upon it and guides every step of the way, and so, so long as I stay in this posture of surrender, I know who is leading me and that is what gives me confidence. So if you're in a place of saying, well, that's great for you because you know it's going. Well, no, it's not. You know there's things happening, you know. But God, god is still god and it's not a surprise to him, and god's in control, and god's in control of who's in control, so there's no excuse.
Nancy Bruscher:Good, it's good. I love how you shared in there that the things that have been difficult or the things that have shaped us are also the things that we can glorify God with and we can talk to people in that way or meet people in that way that I can't or you can't Like you were talking before. We all get to work together. We're all part of this body of Christ and we can't do it alone and we all have gifts and different things that we get to share.
Cecilia McGaw:And we also have a voice like.
Cecilia McGaw:Our instrument is our, this is our mouthpiece, this is our instrument, right, and all of us have a different instrument and it's tuned to a different set of ears. So my voice might be the voice that somebody needs to hear, but your voice might be the voice that reaches another set of ears that my voice cannot. And we're all part of this puzzle and we all look a little different. And some of us, you know pointing at myself some of us are that like funky little piece that you're like what part of the puzzle is that? Like it's got a funkiest little shape, but it has a place in the tapestry of God's kingdom. And we have to be okay if we're that quirky little piece that we are not sure where it goes, or if we're the corner piece that seems to have some really straight edges, or we're that really soft piece that maybe looks like a heart. But we're all part of the same puzzle and it's a beautiful puzzle because it's the Lord's tapestry that's made up of each and every one of us.
Nancy Bruscher:Well, that's such a great reminder, going to the comparison, that we don't need to compare ourselves to somebody, because God's made us right in our identity to be a certain person, to be a certain thing for his glory, for his like. When he talks about the body of Christ he says not everybody can be an eye or not everybody can be a hand, like we all have to do our part. So if we're trying to compare ourselves, like, oh, but I really want to do what they're doing, I really what? Why can't I do that? What? And God's, god's like, but I've made you this way to do this, and kind of like get in your life and do it Right.
Cecilia McGaw:Yes, yes, yes, and I mean truly. If we can learn to delight in how he's created us and we can learn to embrace how we were made man, what a world it would be. But let me tell you that enemy, he never rests and every morning he has a new way to trip me up. He has a new way to trip you up, and that's why we always have to be on guard and we always have to have the word of God on our hearts, because we're going to need it to say uh-uh. No, that is not true. I am an excellent driver. I just so happened to pass that one stop sign, but praise God that he spared me. And look, I'm still on the road and I'm still driving. You know, and that's just a small thought, but I don't know why I went there, because I passed the stop sign early. That's why.
Nancy Bruscher:Well, I have loved this. This has been so, so great. I've enjoyed this time together. I always like to end on these three questions what is your favorite?
Cecilia McGaw:Bible verse or story my favorite. You know I have a favorite verse that I feel like what I want to. The one that's kind of been on my heart lately is Esther. So I used to be Esther, not in a good way, I had esteritis. So you know, when Esther was already in the king's palace and she found out that Mordecai is just like you know, he's upset. You know they're going to kill the, you know the Israelites, and like he's, like just he's in a frantic panic, right, and she hears about him. She doesn't know the details, but what she sends out to him with one of her servants is she sends him some fresh, fresh clothes, fresh clothes here.
Cecilia McGaw:Clean up, put this on it. And that's the part that I used to relate to the most. I wanted to hurry up and cover it when something messy was in my life. Just hurry up, put something pretty on it. Let's hurry up and clean it so that it looks pretty from the outside looking in, Right, and so that that's just not the way it goes.
Cecilia McGaw:It's like you know what, lord, let me invite you to the messy, let me invite you to my brokenness, sometimes to the point where I'm pulverized.
Cecilia McGaw:Because when I'm pulverized and I'm just this dust and there's nothing left in me. It's a hard place to be, but it's also a beautiful place to be, because this is where the Lord can pour out his holy and start creating a new vessel with a new purpose and a new level of gifting and a new level of pouring out. And so, yeah, so I try not to go back to having esteritis. I do sometimes, and sometimes I can recover okay. And sometimes I can recover okay and sometimes I can't. And the days that I can't, god's extravagant grace is still waiting for me and I can still come back and still give him glory with that story and say, listen, I have failed too, and and here's how God redeemed it, or here's how God restored it, or here's how God saved me out of it, you know when I couldn't find a way. So that's probably my favorite story. I forgot what your second question was.
Nancy Bruscher:Oh no, my second. That was so good. I have never I've read Esther so many times and that portion of it has never, ever like, really resonated me. I just went right by it, right, and so that's so interesting. I thank you. I learned so much right there. What are you grateful for?
Cecilia McGaw:What am I grateful for? I'm grateful for my everyday. I'm grateful. I'm grateful that I, that I am in this new place of confidence in my, in my identity with who, who God is and what he is doing. It just leaves me very, um, very interruptible um to whatever he has for me. I, I am walking in his will and every day I'm very intentional of surrendering my dayusts me with being a representative of Jesus. I'm so thankful that he thinks that I'm capable of delivering his word, that I am capable of delivering this treasure.
Cecilia McGaw:You know, in 2 Corinthians 4, I believe it's 2 Corinthians 4, but it's not the first, it's not the second, it's the first.
Cecilia McGaw:But Corinthians 4, I want to say it's like 16. It talks about how we are, these jars of clay, these jars of clay that carry a treasure inside. I love being a jar of clay, being a jar of clay, and I'm okay with being broken, because a broken jar can't hold the beautiful treasures that hold inside. It leaks out wherever it goes and it just leaves like little little smudges and sometimes drips and sometimes puddles. But that's because the Lord is in me and I am this jar that carries this treasure, the Holy Spirit in me, and I hope that I am the messiest jar of clay that is so fragile, holding this beautiful treasure inside that, wherever I go, lord, let me leak, let me leave an imprint of who you are and what you've done in me. Wherever I go, whatever I speak, whatever I say, help me to remember who I am, so that I'm able to represent you in a way that is honoring and pleasing to you, because I long to hear well done, my good and faithful servant, and that's all I want that's uh.
Nancy Bruscher:That last quote about well done my, my good and faithful servant, was one of my grandpa's favorites. What kindness have you shown or what kindness have you received in the last week?
Cecilia McGaw:in the last week. Oh my gosh, I've received so much kindness, more than I deserve, including this. I published my book in January. I haven't done a whole lot with it because I've been busy in other areas of ministry lately. We have a lot of different things going on. As a matter of fact, we have a conference this weekend that I'm speaking at, so there's always like something happening and I really haven't done much with my book. I haven't promoted it, I haven't done anything.
Cecilia McGaw:But then you show up, you know Lauren shows up and she's like hey, you need to meet my friend Nancy. And and again, that's all God, that's all God's favor and God's doing. I have, you know, just people reaching out to me and again, I've done nothing with the book. So God's kindness is everywhere and that motivates me and inspires me that I don't have to press or push my own agenda or my own whatever, like God's, like I got you, like focus on me and it just, it just shows true and rings true to seek first the kingdom of God and then everything else will be added on to you. And the kindness comes from everywhere all the time. And if I'm not feeling the kindness, if I really take a pause and say okay, lord, show me. The list of the things I am thankful for is endless. So there's been a lot of kindness shown to me, and my hope is that I am showing kindness to others, yeah.
Nancy Bruscher:Cecilia, I have loved our conversation, thank you. Thank you for being authentic, thank you for sharing your heart for God and sharing your story, and I'm just so excited to see how God is going to bless this.
Cecilia McGaw:Thank you so much for reaching out, thank you for being patient with me, and I'm looking forward to see what God has is going to do with all of this with you, you know, with me, with every woman out there that is saying, like what is my purpose? Like you don't have to worry about the purpose, just stay tuned to the heavenly and you're going to get step-by-step instruction. And I just pray that in this time that our world seems so divided and so broken that we would wake up, that we would rise up, that we would be bold, that we would be willing to open our mouths and proclaim the truth, even when it feels uncomfortable or even when it feels like an interruption in our schedule. That we would be willing to recognize the importance of loving each other, of encouraging each other, of speaking hope and, most importantly, speaking our message, speaking our testimony.
Cecilia McGaw:When we look at the Bible, the Bible is a collection of books, of people's stories. Everybody in the Bible has a testimony and that's what the Bible is. It's their story and how God redeemed and reconciled them and how he restored them. Like that's what the Bible is. It's their story and how God redeemed and reconciled them and how he restored them Like. That's what it is. Our testimony is also a gospel. It's telling our story of our salvation, of what God has done. And even if you don't know the Bible, if you don't know the scripture, you know.
Cecilia McGaw:Maybe you're sitting there now and thinking like I don't know the scripture by memory or I don't know all the story. I've never heard of esther. Who the heck is esther and why does she have esteritis? Don't even worry about that. Like your, your gospel, your truth, is your story, and if you have of this is who I was and this is who I am then you have something valuable to say and you have a set of ears waiting to hear it. And so thank you for answering to your calling. Nancy, I'm glad that the Lord has entrusted you with this platform and I truly pray that it is life-giving, that it changes atmospheres in people's hearts and that it continues to be anointed, moving forward to extend and strengthen the kingdom of God. Thank you for doing this.
Nancy Bruscher:Thank you On Ordinary People, extraordinary Things. Your story is His glory. What an episode with Cecilia. I hope that this podcast has inspired and made you want to do more than just think about it, but to actually act. If you found it helpful, please share this podcast right now with someone you think could be encouraged by it. We will be back in less than two weeks for the next brand new episode of Ordinary People, extraordinary Things.